On the subject of Katsuki Yuuri: by Phichit Chulanont
by kireiflora
Summary: The first time Phichit met Yuuri, the Japanese man was frantically rushing out the door, saying something in rapid Japanese that he didn't have a chance of understanding. Its the first of many firsts with Yuuri.


Small note: I imagine Phichit and Yuuri to live in like a 3 room apartment during their time in Detroit, a living room/kitchen, a bathroom, and the bedroom, nothing in canon proves otherwise so...

* * *

The first time Phichit met Yuuri, the Japanese man was frantically rushing out the door, saying something in rapid Japanese that he didn't have a chance of understanding. He wasn't sure what to make of him, and if he was his roommate or if his roommate had left the door open and he'd wondered in only to realize his mistake. He'd nearly done the same thing himself so…

He finally managed to get all of his boxes up the stairs and into the room by the time he returned, an hour later.

"A-ah hello." his face was bright red as he came to a sudden stop at the sight of him. "You're...Phischit?" he stumbled over the unfamiliar name.

"Phichit." he corrected reflexively. "You're Yuri then?"

"Yuuri." he corrected just as reflexively. "Ah-sorry about earlier. I was late."

"Late for what?" wondering if he'd forgotten something important.

"Personal-don't worry." he quickly waved his arms.

"Ah." they stood in awkward silence.

"Do you have a bed preference Fichit?" Yuuri finally asked pronunciation better but still not quite right.

"Phichit." he made sure not to snap since he was clearly trying, unlike some other people he'd dealt with today. "I like the right one."

Yuuri repeated it to himself several times, nodding, grabbing one of his boxes and carrying it over to the other bed and beginning to unpack.

And that was the first time Phichit met Yuuri.

They bonded quickly over being foreigners in America, improving their English by talking with each other, though it was hard to follow other people's conversations

The first time Phichit saw Yuuri skate, he wondered what he was even doing here. Then _he_ proceeded to fail his first attempt at a jump so he decided he had no right to judge people. Yuuri was a naturally nervous person and skating for the first time here in Detroit in front of their rinkmates was probably not doing him any favors.

So instead, Phichit skated over and made small talk with him, watching him relax as they talked, and if both of their skating improved? Well it couldn't have gotten much worse anyway.

(That night he looks up videos of him in Japanese competitions and woah, he's fairly spotty but when he does well, he can't look away. He's sure Yuuri will warm up to the rink and their rinkmates fast enough, and he'll be able to see this in person!)

Not long after that is the first wake up call that they probably need to look out for each other more than just casually.

Phichit is fully focused on his phone, which is the only reason he manages to listen in on a conversation. "Did you hear what happened to that kid?"

"The one who's dorm got broken into?"

"Yeah, they're saying…" he doesn't hear past that as the speakers continue past him. But he starts pulling up social media wondering what they were talking about.

Turns out a French kid's room got broken into, partly as a prank, but from what google translate translated of the French, it was a warning for something he'd said to the wrong person.

His mind flashes to Yuuri, neither of them great at the nuances of english and either one of them could say something horribly offensive by accident. He wonders if they should have some sort of code word system…

When Yuuri arrives home that night, he looks fairly shaken and he's actually the one to bring up the idea he's been kicking around all afternoon.

Thankfully, it's not a code word system that gets much use.

The thing about Yuuri is, he doesn't realize he's attractive. Phichit has realized this many times over the past months, as people flirt with him and he doesn't seem to understand that it's happening.

The first time it really hits him just how much he doesn't realize it, he actually stops what he's doing and just sits there for at least ten minutes, staring at his best friend.

Yuuri doesn't even seem to realize he's staring.

Phichit had thrown a comment about how he better be his best man at his wedding after the great service he'd just done for him (grabbing his favorite snack on his way back) and Yuuri had laughed and said nobody would ever marry him.

Nobody would ever marry him.

Excuse me?

Phichit wanted to go over and shake him, ask him what he's thinking, ask him if he's ever seen himself!

Instead he just stared at him. Wondering why the world had been so cruel to Yuuri to make him think he wasn't worthy of being married.

He makes a point of it to tell him he looks good when he does from that point on. Sadly, over time it loses its effect on Yuuri, but he can only hope he's internalized some of it.

He makes a note to himself that whomever Yuuri dates needs to know Yuuri needs to be explicitly told they like him by them. Because people flirting with him? The only ones that ever got a reaction where those that came out and just said it, just asked him out. None of them got a yes, but they got a reaction that wasn't ignorance.

The first time Phichit sees Yuuri pole dance, he thinks he just fell in love.

He's too young to be at this club but he managed to get snuck in and he was not expecting to see Yuuri there, pole dancing. He stays out of sight so Yuuri doesn't freak out.

He finds out much much later, that that was just a one time thing. He's torn between elation at having seen it and sadness that it was the only time. It could do wonders for his self confidence if he kept with it! But he isn't going to tell him how to live his life, but he knows, knows Yuuri had been taking classes. That's the only explanation.

The first time Phichit sees Yuuri have an anxiety attack, he's completely useless.

This is partly because he doesn't know what's going on and partly because he doesn't know what to do even if he knew what was going on, all in all, it's a pretty scary situation for Phichit.

His new roommate/quickly becoming best friend, is sitting in a chair alternating between staring blankly ahead with and without tears, making aborted movements towards doing something, and just putting his head down and taking deep breaths.

He spends the entire time trying to watch him but not be too obvious about it, and trying to do his own work. He waits a full day to bring it up, in private of course.

Yuuri clams up but seems to be working towards giving him an answer. "I uh…" he fidgets in place, looking all around the room. "I…" he makes a face. "I have a lot of anxiety."

He frowns slightly, still not fully understanding, but decides not to push him about it, changing the topic instead.

He gets a more detailed explanation through text, and spends several nights googling things, and they have more conversations about it as time goes on, when Yuuri is up for it.

The first time Phichit see's Yuuri cry, Yuuri doesn't know he sees him. Its entirely probable that's why Yuuri gave in to begin with.

Phichit had left then realized he'd forgotten something, but had stopped in his tracks at the soft sounds of sobbing. He'd been fully prepared to back out and enter louder, assuming it was homesickness or something like that and not wanting to intrude, when he'd caught on to him mumbling to himself. It was mostly Japanese but he'd picked up a little, enough to understand Yuuri was doing nothing but talking about himself in an abstract way.

His heart goes out to him in that moment, and his throat closes up. He finds himself frozen, unable to move a single muscle as he listens to his friend breakdown, only able to move away when he hears Yuuri gathering himself.

He leaves, but doesn't do whatever he'd been on his way to do. Instead he wanders around, deep in thought. He has no clue what Yuuri was beating himself up for, but he wishes he could do something to help.

He brings Yuuri home an ice cream, claiming he'd eaten his own before getting Yuuri one. He thinks it helped a little bit.

The first time Phichit realizes Yuuri's in love with Victor, well in a teasing way its the moment Yuuri starts putting up the posters. In a real way though, is after the 'Hot Springs on ice' event, when he sees, in poor quality, just how they act around each other, and the following skype call.

The slight hug Victor gives him as Yuuri stumbles over his words makes him wonder if it goes both ways.

The way Yuuri's voice goes when he talks about him is similar, but completely different, to the way he used to. Its less 'he's a god!' and more 'he's a wonderful person!' it makes his heart melt, sure things are going in a good direction for Yuuri in a romantic sense, finally.

Now, he needs to find out if Victor deserves his best friend, but he's not going to rain on Yuuri's parade.

The first time Phichit realizes Victor loves him back is during the China cup, but not after the kiss as most people would think.

Well actually it's before the China cup that he really starts to suspect it, but people blow things out of proportion when they post stuff on social media, and it's entirely possible Victor's just trying to get eyes on Yuuri for the coming season. Phichit is torn between liking that idea and knowing Yuuri would do better if nobody was watching.

But the first time he sees them together in person, he knows, that though Yuuri might be blind to it, Victor is just as in love with him as he is with Victor. His heart swells with happiness, Yuuri has always deserved someone that looks at him the way Victor does.

Sadly, he knows Yuuri doesn't see it, doesn't believe it. If he did Phichit would've heard a lot more about Victor than he has. So he tries to nudge them a little bit, and that kiss? He knows that while it seems like it now, that Yuuri himself probably believes it in the moment, that all his insecurities will make a come back soon enough.

He's not sure what he can do about that.

The first time Phichit gets Victor on his own, in a secure enough setting to have a talk, it goes something like this.

"Victor, a blind man could see you love my best friend." a good opener, let him know this conversation is about Yuuri and have him on guard for some kind of 'you're not good enough' speech.

He laughs slightly, "I'm glad." and he looks it, smiling, eyes shining.

"Unfortunately." he continues, "Unless you state it out right and often, Yuuri won't believe it."

Victor blinks, startled by this. "What do you mean?"

"I was his roommate for five years, and it took three of them for him to finally understand that I liked him as a person. He asked me two years in a row if I wanted a different roommate, long after I considered us close friends." he shakes his head slightly at Yuuri's insecurities. "During that third year I made a point to mention how much I loved having him as a friend and the next year he finally didn't ask.

I know enough of what happened at the China cup to know you got your first brush with Yuuri's anxiety before his free skate." Victor doesn't look terribly surprised at this information. "I'm sure he underplayed how bad you screwed up, but still, don't do it again. Anyway, to be completely blunt, Yuuri doesn't see his good qualities at all. He never once realized anyone was flirting with him until they asked him out plainly."

Victor looks like he's starting to understand. "I have told him."

"Was it in some kind of situation where you might've felt compelled to say it for any reason?" he asks point blank, he's taking no prisoners when it comes to Yuuri and his happiness. Victor startles at the question, and his hesitant expression tells him all he needs to know. "You know about Yuuri's anxiety but it's hard to fully understand, I don't and I lived with him for five years. But if there's any angle to look at something in a bad way, it finds it, and points it out to Yuuri as loud as it can. There's times of course, that he full heartedly believes in it, but his anxiety is always ready with all these little details about how things could be completely different.

But _you_ have to find the right balance between saying it in such a way that sounds rehearsed and fake, and telling him enough. Honestly," he decides to give him a little help, "I think Yuuri really likes random pictures of things that remind you of him. As well as completely random 'I love you's." he takes a deep breath, "Sorry, I just want to make sure Yuuri knows how completely in love with him you are." he smiles at him, feeling a bit bad for dropping this all on him. "I've had five years to try and get it right, and I don't always manage it."

Victor has a finger to his lips and seems to be deep in thought.

"Oh." a thought occurs to him. "I'm not saying not to do it, but don't make all your gestures of love loud and over the top and public either."

"His anxiety will convince him it's for the public and not that I like showing him off?" Victor offers.

"Now you're getting it." he pats him on the shoulder. "It's hard to find the right balance, but if it's for Yuuri it kinda makes it worth it doesn't it?"

Victor smiles at him and nods, "Thank you Phichit. I'll keep all of this in mind."

"Also keep in mind if you hurt him they won't find your body." he smiles widely at him.

Victor laughs, "You didn't have to say it outloud, I more than got that message as well."

"Don't worry, you have my vote. Don't be afraid to just ask him what he wants you to do, what he wants from me probably isn't the same thing he wants from you."

Victor nods again, looking like he's deep in thought again.

Phichit feels better getting all of his Yuuri and Victor concerns off his chest like this. If Yuuri knew he just gave Victor a run down on his anxiety he'd probably be upset at him and it does feel a bit like cheating for Victor but...he just wants Yuuri to be happy.

The first time Phichit knows without a shadow of a doubt Yuuri knows Victor is in love with him, is when Victor Nikiforov becomes Victor Katsuki. He'd been rather adamant that he wanted _only_ Yuuri's name.

The wedding is beautiful. He feels blessed and surrounded by love just being there, and he takes so many pictures he doesn't know what he'll do with all of them and he has to keep deleting the ones that are already backed up because he's out of room.

He's off in a corner deleting things when he spies the newlyweds, and sees the signs of anxiety in Yuuri's face. Victor says and does something that he can't see, what he does see is a lot of the anxious energy fading away, and he feels himself smiling as Yuuri looks past Victor and notices him.

Yuuri gives him a smile and mouths a code word that makes his own grin split his face.

Victor turns and sees him and waves him over for pictures.

"So you have your speech all ready?" Victor teases.

"I've had my speech half ready since the third year I knew him. Of course I'm ready. I've been waiting for this day for years and years." he happily gets himself between the two of them to take pictures with them, then pushes them together and snaps several more. "You picked a good one Yuuri." he adds.

"Thanks, I think so too." he leans against Victor's side with a small happy grin and Phichit's heart melts all over again.

He pulls them both into the tightest hug he can manage. "Victor, welcome to being a Katsuki. You wear the name well."

Victor laughs, "It feels great too!" he leans against Yuuri.

Yeah, they'll be okay. All days won't be as good as this one, but Victor has a good handle on how to help.

* * *

They definitely have code words pertaining to Yuuri's anxiety and Yuuri basically told him he's fine since Phichit probably looked worried.


End file.
